


I've Got Everything I Need

by 2_Ava



Series: Hear Me Out Universe [8]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: At this point the guys from Bohemian Rhapsody are really just mentioned, Bohemian Rhapsody, Can probably be read alone, Hear Me Out is jut helpful context, I don't know, I promise, I think this might be more than one part, It's not a Bohemian Rhapsody fanfic, John and Roger are old and married, M/M, present day, we'll see, ya know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-03-13 08:44:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18937453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2_Ava/pseuds/2_Ava
Summary: Set in present day, Roger is practically infatuated with the filming of Bohemian Rhapsody; and he just wants John to come see it. John is adamant that he no longer needs that part of his life, but it doesn't stop Roger from trying.Set in the HMO Universe // AKA Deaf!Roger





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was supposed to upload this last night, but I fell asleep! Oops! Here is a one shot set (pretty much) present day, during the filming of Bohemian Rhapsody. I'm thinking of having this be 3 or 4 chapters long, and just go over a few different aspects of it, seeing as it would have been a really interesting dynamic considering how involved Roger was (and how un-involved Deaky was) so, yeah. Let me know what you think, or if you have any ideas for one shots.

John was largely in two minds about a movie being made about them; especially one that Roger was insistent on - both of them - being involved in. Many a chat about the happenings of the film had ended in a near screaming match - which John knew was frivolous given who he was talking to, but he couldn’t help himself. It wasn’t that he was wholly against a movie being made about them - truthfully, he found it endearing. He simply didn’t like the expectation that he was going to be a part of it, simply because Roger was so invested. Brian had mentioned the last time he had come over the prospect of working with their actor counterparts; and the thought of it alone made John feel a little queasy. 

**”I don’t understand how you spent 20 years up on stage, playing 6 shows a week and you can’t even talk to one kid about your own life.” Brian would gibe, rolling his eyes at the younger man. Thankfully, Roger would often jump in to at least calm the situation before it inflated to a point reminiscent of their youths.**

Unfortunately, Roger wasn’t always so courteous or understanding. 

“Roger! I’m not going, and if I have to explain it to you one more time, I swear - you’ll be a divorcee.” John rambled from the kitchen, as he made cups of tea. 

“You’d think after all this time you’d remember he can’t hear you.” Their youngest daughter Lilly, now 16, said from the dining room, rolling her eyes at her father. John huffed quietly as he carried out two cups of tea, placing one in front of Roger. Roger looked over at John with a sweet smile, raising his hands to speak. 

“Unless you’re about to say ‘thank you for the tea’ and then stop talking, I don’t want to hear it.” John signed, giving Roger a loosely serious look. Roger chuckled a little, looking towards Lilly and playfully rolling his eyes. Lilly giggled a little, reaching over for the cup of tea that John had made for himself. “Hey!” He snapped jokingly, sitting down beside Roger, who immediately turned towards his husband. 

_Before you threaten my life; I just want you to see how great it is. Being on set, and seeing them recreate all the things we did. It’s really cool, John. Please, just consider it._ Roger practically begged, placing a careful hand on John’s knee. 

“I have considered it, Roger. I’ve considered it so much. I consider it every single time you bring it up, and I just really don’t want to.” John tried to reason. “I love you, and I’m so glad you’re having a good time working on this project, and I can’t wait to watch the DVD, but I just really don’t want to be a part of it.” John signed, before leaning forward and giving Roger a kiss. As he pulled away, he noticed the look of bewilderment on Roger’s face. 

_You’re not going to come watch it… at all?_ Roger signed, looking absolutely gobsmacked. John gave him a look that suggested his husband had grown a second head. 

“Roger Taylor - you have known me for 45 years; where in that very insightful brain of yours did you think I would want to prance around a movie premiere?” John queried, quirking his brow at the older man. The table fell awkwardly silent, Roger just staring at John with an expression he couldn’t quite read. 

“I’m going to be late for school.” Lilly whispered, standing up as she handed John back his half drunken tea and made haste in heading to her bedroom. After their daughter had vacated the room, Roger let his eyes trail back over to John. 

_I thought you’d at least come to the premiere. You know… to commemorate a movie being made about Freddie… and us._ Roger signed, a sad look on his face. John couldn’t help but frown in return. 

“But, Rog… a premiere, with all those people? Isn’t that kind of the complete opposite of what I’ve been doing for the last 20 years?” John questioned, trying to find - somewhere in the last 45 years - a hint of telepathy between the pair, so he didn’t have to try and articulate how much he dreaded the concept of the limelight that Roger stood for. Roger gave him a look that he knew tugged at John’s heart strings; it was the look that had John doing whatever Roger was begging for - well, almost anything. “Roger… I’m so happy here, with you - and the kids. I love being a dad… that’s all I need. I have everything I could possibly want, right here.” John whispered, signing as delicately as he spoke. 

_Freddie would want you there._ Roger signed, looking at John through thick lashes. John let out a shaky sigh as he reached down and gripped Roger’s hands tightly. He had to take a few moments before he continued; the thought of letting Freddie down was one that had always hit him hard, but the prospect of coming out of 20 years of hiding - especially when the whole idea of such would have been a fiasco in itself - was even more threatening to his well being. 

“I love you.” He spoke carefully, unable to sign. “But I’m not coming, Roger.” He whispered, pecking his husband’s lips before standing up. “Lilly; are you ready?” He called, moving around the dining table and towards the front door, where his car keys were. Lilly came from her bedroom, ready to leave. She moved quickly over to Roger, giving him a kiss on the cheek before walking towards the door. John made eye contact with Roger, who was clearly waiting for his husband to look at him. 

_Can we talk about this when you get home?_ Roger signed, a small smile on the older man’s face. 

“You can try.” John said softly, a small smirk present on his face. “But, good luck.” He chuckled, as he opened the door for Lilly, who was quick to head for the car. John turned once more to Roger to blew him a kiss before he left the house, shutting the door behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second part - thanks for all the awesome suggestions about Roger and John's life in present - they are so fun to read so keep them coming! This idea is inspired by some comments by Katishas_right_elbow. 
> 
> Let me know what you think :) x

_Aren’t you going to ask the kids about their day?_ Roger signed, eyeing John over their Sunday dinner. John’s eyes flicked away from Roger, to where he was focused on cutting his roast. John could spend every day for the remainder of his years listening to his children and their lives, but the shit-eating grin on Roger’s face suggested largely that it had much to do with their day on set – and subsequently, Roger’s constant badgering to get John to visit filming. John let out a heavy sigh and diplomatically placed down his knife and fork. 

“Lauren; how was your day?” John muttered, looking towards his eldest daughter. He heard as Roger sighed from the opposite end of the table. Just as Lauren was beginning to answer her father’s question, Roger butted in to sign again. 

_Why won’t you just let the kids tell you about their day on set. They all had so much fun._ Roger signed, obviously a bit bothered at John’s clearly-meditated choice to ask the only one of the four that had not gone to set that day. 

“I got to be in a scene today, dad. It was so much fun.” Lilly said softly, clearly excited, but maintaining reservation in an attempt to keep peace over the table. John gave her a small nod and smile. 

“That’s lovely, darling.” John said quietly; not even he was angry enough at Roger’s insistence to not entertain his daughter’s clear excitement. “What did you get to do?” He questioned, his eyes flicking over to Roger for a moment before focusing back on Lilly. 

“We were just dancing… but it was fun… and I umm-“ Lilly paused for a moment, glancing at Roger before back to John. “I met Joe…” She added, speaking the last part with incredible caution. John appeared to go even more rigid, clearly unsure exactly how he felt about such a statement. Roger had mentioned Joe; he’d mentioned everyone they were working with – ad nausea. However, there was something about talking about Joe that made the whole house an unapproachable level of tense. Maybe it was having someone play John, knowing where and how he ended up. Or, perhaps it was the fact that Roger and Brian were consistently on set, working with their biopic counterparts to make the movie as characteristically realistic as possible; and John was right there, completely within Joe’s grasp – but yet so unattainable; and perhaps John did feel the tiniest bit bad about it. John was glad that Roger was there to help out, as well as the kids – but he knew it wasn’t the same. 

The air over the table was becoming tirelessly thick from John’s lack of response. Even Lilly, who more often than not adopted Roger’s unabashed-ness, was clearly uncomfortable. 

“You don’t think it would be for the good of the movie, dad. I’m sure it would mean the world to him to talk to you.” Lauren cut in, clearly trying to dispel the tension. John looked over, a somewhat hurt expression on his face. 

“If you’ll excuse me…” John muttered, standing up and removing himself from their family dinner before they could urge him to stay. Roger let out a loud sigh. 

“I’m sorry.” Lilly said softly, signing also. Roger was quick to shake his head. 

_No, honey – it’s fine._ He signed, a look of concern for his daughter’s guilt evident on his face. 

“Dad’s just stubborn.” Lauren confirmed, beginning to stand up, presumably to fetch John. 

_Just leave it, Lauren. I’ll speak with him after dinner._ Roger signed quickly, ushering her to sit down. Lauren nodded tentatively, sitting down. The family finished dinner, the five of them eating in relative silence, save for occasionally filling Lauren in about the day on set. Once they had finished up dinner, Lauren and the boys moved to help with the dishes, leaving Lilly to sneak into John and Roger’s room. When she entered, John was standing on the adjoining terrace, smoke billowing from where he stood. Lilly pattered quickly through the room and onto the terrace. 

“That’s no good for you – you know, pops.” Lilly said softly, standing in the doorway. John turned around quickly, exhaling smoke as he reached for the ashtray to extinguish his cigarette. Lilly chuckled at the startled look on her father’s face, already taking a few steps closer. “I know you don’t want to know or care… but, can I at least show you some photos from today?” Lilly said softly, causing John’s face to immediately drop. 

“Darling – it’s not that I don’t care, I just…” John began, only to be swiftly cut off by Lilly. 

“I know, dad.” She said caringly. “I just don’t think it’s what you think it is.” Lilly said tentatively; John couldn’t help but smile fondly at her. 

“You’re your father’s daughter, you know; making me smile even when I don’t want to.” John chuckled very quietly, Lilly chuckling in response. There was a moment of still silence between the pair before John spoke again. “You can absolutely show me the photos, darling.” John said softly. Lilly smiled widely as she pulled her phone out of her pocket, beginning to search through the photos to show her dad. They spent a good part of an hour on Roger and John’s terrace, going through various photos – several of which included Lilly wearing far too revealing clothing and too much makeup for John’s liking – he’d be having a word with Roger about that one later. They got to a photos – a “selfie” as Lilly has (on several occasions) tried to explain to John, that she had taken with the cast. 

“I’ve said it before, but that looks nothing like your father.” John chuckled, gesturing to Ben in the photo. John made more comments about Gwilym, Allen and the like, stopping at Joe and allowing his face to form a subtle smile. John remained like that for a moment before choosing to speak again. “Is he nice?” John queried, looking over at Lilly, who wore a grin similar to the easily excited and cheeky one he’d been getting from Roger for almost 50 years. 

“He’s so lovely – you’d really like him. He’s very funny.” Lilly said softly, still careful not to say anything that would thoroughly upset John. John smiled at her and nodded, not revealing at all what he was thinking. 

“You have school in the morning, darling. Why don’t you go say goodbye to your brothers and sister?” John suggested; Lilly nodded and moved to give John a hug. 

“I love you, dad.” She whispered, as John held her tightly. 

“I love you too, princess.” 

That night, after reprimanding Roger to no end about “allowing our 16 year old daughter to look like the floozies that tried to sleep with you in the 70s”, John rolled over to nuzzle himself into Roger’s side, peppering kisses over his husband’s face, neck and chest. 

“Maybe a day on set when there’s not a lot of people around.” John said softly against Roger’s neck, his hands moving haphazardly in front of his husband. Immediately, Roger sat bolt upright – as fast as his aging body allowed. 

_Did you just say what I think you said?_ Roger signed excitedly. John looked up at the older man and nodded, a small smile spreading across his lips. Roger, verbally gasping, fell down to wrap his arms tightly around John. John hugged him back for a moment before pulling away. 

“But… no photos, no videos, no ‘selfies’…” he signed, mocking his kids a little, “and no premiere.” He concluded clearly and seriously. 

_Done._ Roger signed, quickly kissing John. _God, I love you._ He signed, before burying himself contently back towards his husband.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here ya go! I’ve been writing all these little things on the train rides around Japan, so hopefully they’re good enough haha. Anyway, let me know what you think, and if you have any ideas for other chapters (like Joe and John’s first conversation or more content involving John and Roger’s kids) 
> 
> Much love, Ava :) x
> 
> Instagram is 2_ava_queen

“Can you please calm down? You’re making too big of a deal about it.” John signed, glued to Roger’s side. Roger groaned, deflating a little.

_Fine. I’m sorry I’m excited. Once you see how cool it is, you will be too._ Roger signed back. John let out a small sigh as he reached over for Roger’s hand, effectively ceasing any further conversation. As they reached what John presumed to be the set, they were approached by a familiar mop of hair. Without a word, Brian reached out to hug Roger, before attempting the same with John. John would have been content to extend his zero-contact lifestyle to Brian, but he and Roger were best friends, and John wouldn’t simply deny Roger’s desire for him to be a part of their children’s lives, so he reluctantly returned Brian’s hug. 

“It’s so nice to have you here, John.” Brian smiled, pulling back. “I think you’ll like it. You can be very logical and attentive – all the things you’re good at.” Brian grinned, presumably trying to make John feel better.

“Do you know… do they know that I’m here?” John questioned, stuttering over his words as his mind ran at a million miles. “Because I’d much prefer to just hide and observe; I don’t need to have any input.” John said hesitantly, his voice replicating the nerves of his youth. Brian shook his head, assuring John he could remain in the shadows as he and Roger escorted the youngest of them to the sound stage.

They arrived when things seemed pretty underway – a few men in a makeshift studio, currently laughing with one another. It didn’t take long for John to gather that they likely weren’t filming. This was made all the more evident by the way one of them quickly made their way over to where the three of them had entered. It wasn’t hard for John to deduce that this young man was the one playing Freddie, given the hair, and moustache, and clothing. He was quick to hug Brian, a wide smile on his face; they shared sweet pleasantries as he turned his attention to Roger, as the remaining men made their way to the older men. John made a point of taking several steps backwards in an attempt to go unnoticed. He remained by the door for a while, observing quietly until the man who was a near spitting image of Brian looked past where the older men were and made a moments eye contact with John before looking away. As if it was all within a millisecond, his eyes snapped back and the pieces came together in his brain as his eyes widened and his mouth dropped open a little. In an attempt to maintain calm over the situation, John quickly raised a finger as if to shush Gwilym – something he’d done many times before when trying to get his children to behave. They maintained a moment of eye contact before Gwilym nodded a little and returned to the conversation as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. John breathed a momentary sigh of relief as the men returned to the set and began working on their scene. It was a scene about the making of Another One Bites the Dust, and featured a considerable bit of bickering. John hated watching Rami as Freddie – whilst he couldn’t deny that his performance was exemplary, that was the exactly the issue. John could feel himself getting emotional watching ‘almost-Freddie’ – the same one he hadn’t seen in 25 years. He wanted to yell at Roger, telling him he should of known he wouldn’t be able to handle it. He wanted to cry – about how much he still desperately missed Freddie. He wanted to run up and hug Rami, just to make sure he was real, and it wasn’t another of those dream he had that quickly turned to nightmares when awoke and found out they weren’t real. More than anything, he wanted to be happy – he looked at Brian and Roger laughing and smiling with the younger men, and he wanted that.

John watched silently for the rest of the day; he wanted to assist like Brian did, or crack jokes like Roger. But he couldn’t do more than just stare. It was almost like it was overstimulating; like after 25 years away from it all, just re-witnessing it was too much for John.

Once it had wrapped for the day, the cast – as well as Brian and Roger – had agreed on heading to a communal area of trailers to discuss further aspects of the film. Roger, knowing his husband far too well, had asked John whether he wanted him to organise a car home.

“I should really get back to the kids.” John responded, practically lying through his teeth. He glanced through the window beside them and looked at the four boys, laughing and smiling amongst themselves – they almost exactly replicated the best part of the life that John remembered. John was almost grateful; he very often got caught up in the idea that his past life was something to revolt. But, looking at those young men allowed him to positively recall why he did what he did for so long. Suddenly, John felt a little unsure about leaving.

_I’m sure Lauren would start Sunday roast if you called her – do you want me to text?_ Roger offered, already pulling his phone out of his pocket. _Plus… I think you forget our kids are all upwards of 16… not four. They can look after themselves._ Roger signed, smiling cheekily and hopefully at his husband.

“I just don’t want it to be a big deal.” John whispered, signing nervously. Roger smiled widely and wrapped his arm around John as he began walking them towards the others. When they reached the door, the space was already set up with a few tables and chairs, and Brian and the cast were already seated with hot drinks between their hands.

“Is Roger coming, do you know? I have a few questions I want to ask – a few things I just want to run by him.” Joe said quickly, leaning across the table to speak to Brian.

Roger smiled at the comment and was about to step inside, just as John grabbed the back of his coat.

“Roger, no.” John whispered, not bothering to sign for his husband, assuming the panic on his face would give it away. Roger’s brows furrowed as he eyed John up and down, as if to suggest he was being completely unreasonable. “You know what; I actually can’t do this. I thought I could, but I can’t – I’m just going to go home.” John stumbled, signing frantically. Roger sighed softly, reaching forward to grasp John’s hands.

“You need to calm down.” Roger whispered, the words coming out a little strained, before pecking John’s lips and pulling away. _Just stand right here in the door and let me handle it. If it’s really too much… you walk away. Easy._ Roger signed, smiling calmly at John, who looked anything but. _Trust me?_ Roger questioned, eyeing him with a smirk.

“I always do… and look where it’s gotten me.” John smirked, rolling his eyes. 

_Four kids, a husband and millions in royalties?_ Roger signed, a wide smirk peaking through the grey hair around his mouth. John rolled his eyes and playfully ‘smacked’ his husbands arm. _I’m not wrong though._ He continued, letting out a quiet chuckle. Again, Roger leant forward and kissed John, carefully and lovingly, until John couldn’t help but melt towards him. As they pulled apart, Roger made a point of pushing John’s hair from his face, so he at least looked a little less flustered. _I’ll go in first and maybe talk to them a little… everything is going to be fine because your perfectly wonderful husband is going to take care of it._ Roger signed flamboyantly, clearly very pleased with himself. John groaned softly, but with a small smile on his face. 

“I’m going to kill you.” He signed, his eyes rolling playfully back into his head. 

_And even then, I’ll never get sick of calling you my husband._ Roger replied, leaning forward to kiss John again. John returned the back before pushing Roger back a little. 

“Just go… you pain in the ass.” He grumbled, but with no real malice. As Roger walked away happily, John figured the public displays of affection were likely to get that exact reaction out of John, and speed up the process ahead of them. 

Roger entered the area, and all of the heads shot around to him, wide smiles on the faces of the younger men who were clearly excited by his presence. Once he had properly sat down, and the focus remained on where he sat rather than where he’d come from, John positioned himself just beside the door, peaking in to observe the scene before him. From what he could tell, it appeared to be comfortable banter - about the day and the men themselves. It didn’t take long for Joe to request Roger’s attention, leaning across the table to speak to him. 

“I just had a really quick question, Roger…” he began, Brian assisting in signing for the older man. “Did John ever talk to you about retiring beforehand? Like did you know before that it was happening?” He queried, waiting intently for Roger’s reply. Roger gave him a slightly weak smile; John could feel from outside the room how discussing his retirement was a lot for Roger stomach, seeing how he still didn’t agree with it. 

_It really did come out of nowhere._ Roger began hesitantly, Brian quick to speak for him. _We were talking about what had been happening in the studio, literally the day before… and then he said he was done._ Roger explained, a little sadly. John couldn’t help but frown a little, fearing that this maybe wasn’t a conversation he should be listening to. _But… that was in 1992. We did make him hold on a few years longer. Just to tie off the loose ends before he disappeared._ Roger continued, chuckling a little. _If it we’re up to me, he’d still be touring… but then, I might be divorced._ Roger laughed a little, receiving a similar chuckle from the men around the table with him. _But never any inclination before then that he actually wanted out; didn’t fancy the spotlight or the touring one bit - loved the music. But, never hated the rest of it enough to genuinely want to leave._ He explained; once he’d stopped, he glanced back at the doorway, where - although hidden - John was listening. 

“The rest of it meaning you?” Ben added, a chuckle evident in his voice. Roger glanced at Brian signing and nodded a little. 

_And Freddie…_ He added, the words even coming out of Brian’s mouth a little melancholy. A bit of an awkward silence fell over them. They had often danced around the subject of John’s departure, and how it affected Roger when they first began working with the younger men; but now that they were deeper into the nitty gritty, the conversations were becoming inevitable. 

“He enjoyed the company… seldom the atmosphere.” Brian added, trying to lighten the mood with a haphazard smile. John felt his heart breaking where he stood listening to his husbands words. He’d always known his retirement had upset Roger; but he figured between getting to have children, and John still being avidly in his life - he wouldn’t have minded too much. It seemed however, John had been largely wrong, seeing as how he could hear Roger clear the wet tears brewing as he coughed. If John were any more confident in himself, he might have marched right in there and hugged Roger, and tried his hardest to make everything better - but, John knew himself, and knew that to be something so far out of his abilities, that it was practically outside the view of the realm of possibility. He felt himself taking a few steps backward, worried that even though he was nowhere near the door, they would be able to see him. It seemed that his disappearance had had an effect on Roger, because the older man seemed hellbent on moving the conversation as far away from John as possible. Joe, however, seemed to be having none of it, seeing as the moments in which he got to sit down with Roger - the closest thing he had to John - were sparse. 

_How about we move this to the dressing room?_ Roger signed, Brian jumping in to inform Joe before the young man nodded a little. They moved their conversations out from the area of chairs and tables, and dispersed to nearby dressing rooms. John stood exactly where Roger had left him, wondering if he should simply get a car home; where his kids would soon be arriving for their weekly family dinner - and where he felt okay and safe, and where no one expected anything of him, except to be a father - which he knew he was more than capable of. 

In the midst of his panicking, John was approached by Roger, who immediately came up and held his hands. 

“I’m sorry.” John whispered, knowing Roger would at least get the gist of what he meant. Roger instantly gave him a sweet smile and just learn forward to kiss his husband and he released his hands. 

_Come meet him, John. Just you, me, Joe and Ben… that’s all I ask._ Roger signed, quickly. _It’s not a question, and I’m not giving you a chance to say no, okay?_ He added, beginning to pull the younger man towards where they’d all disappeared minutes before. John found himself only half wanting to dispute his husband’s antics; more than he’d expected, he was a little thrilled - and buzzing slightly with nervous anticipation. 

When they reached the trailer door, Roger flashed John and wink and a smile, and John couldn’t help but expel some nervous laughter. John placed a hand up, telling Roger to wait for a few moments, as he tried to listen to the conversation playing out behind the door.

“I don’t want to bother him; I just want to do John justice. Roger said he’d promised to watch it… he’s going to see me being him, and I can’t have it be anything less than perfect. He’s not around to speak for who he is today - I think it’s only fair that people remember him for more than being the guy who retired.” The loud and abrasive American accent boomed through the thin walls, and John found himself getting a little too emotionally vulnerable as he listened. It hadn’t occurred to him, the prospect of this man - although clearly a passionate actor - genuinely wanted to do John justice - not for any old gig, but for John as a person. John found himself letting out a shaky breath; despite the nerves, he almost felt more confident about entering after hearing Joe’s kind words. 

He looked to Roger as the older man knocked on the door; the pair waited a moment before the door swung open, and Roger’s biopic counterpart stood in the frame, smiling sweetly at Roger. 

“Hi, Roger.” He said softly, already moving out of the way for the older man. Roger took a few steps inside, John moving closely behind as Roger walked to the very small table in the middle of the van. 

_Joe; I brought someone along that I think you deserve to meet._ He signed. It only took John a few seconds to realise - due to the slightly confused looks on John and Ben’s faces - that they were used to Brian’s translations being commonplace. John could feel his jaw clenching as he took a tentative step forward. 

“He said that he brought someone along that he thinks you deserve to meet.” John said softly, his words trembling out far quieter than even he had expected. It seemed that the shift in the boys’ attention from Roger to this new figure, placed a film of stillness over the room. It didn’t take more than a word for the men in the room to realise who was standing before them - that and the clear resemblance to the very man Joe had been researching.

There was something, somewhere in John’s mind however, eating at him for not being the same person Joe had clearly been researching for months. He wasn’t young anymore, or particularly attractive - not that he’d ever deemed himself gorgeous - although Roger liked to testify against that. He wasn’t anyone near as vocal or headstrong… and he certainly wasn’t a rockstar anymore - anyone with eyes could see that. He stared at the young man, awestruck before him, and prayed to every deity that he wasn’t already disappointed. 

“Oh my god.” Joe said, much louder than John had spoken. John couldn’t help but crack a small smile, watching the young man light up before him. “You’re John Deacon…” Joe whispered, his voice breathless and very clearly star struck. John allowed his smile to break a little more. 

“Last time I checked, yes.” John said softly, a smirk evident in his tone. He could see out of the corner of his eye, the way Roger looked so undeniably happy; suddenly, John had never been more glad he’d agreed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y'all - I'm back! 
> 
> Sorry for the extremely extended hiatus - I've been having a bit of trouble doing the all life and staying organised and being a person thing, but I'm feeling much better and am looking forward to getting back into it - that is if there's anyone that actually remembers any of these stories anymore haha. 
> 
> Here's a new chapter of this one, most of this has been sitting in my Google Docs since like, July? So are so many other little dribs and drabs, so if you have any ideas, send them my way - I'm keen to get back into it. I'm also hoping to upload a one shot for HMO Universe and maybe get back into a few of the other fics I did - something Epidemic related, perhaps?
> 
> I just uploaded a new, short fic entitled Waving Through the Window, and it's a little bit more present-day fatherhood-ish, but like, no super wholesome. I don't even know - just go check it out! 
> 
> Really hope you like it, despite it being about four months late. 
> 
> Much love, Ava :) x

John would’ve been lying if he said he hadn’t found some enjoyment is going to set with Roger and his kids - the biggest positive probably being how wonderfully involved in his kids life he felt. He was yet to sit down with Joe and talk properly about himself and Queen, but Roger had mentioned to Joe that it may be best to let John build up to that. At present, John was standing nearby set watching a scene in which ‘Roger’ and ‘Freddie’ were fighting. He glanced over at his husband who was sitting on a small cushioned bench, leaning over and watching them tentatively - John couldn’t help but smile fondly at him. 

“Rather self serving to pick him; don’t you think, dear?” John muttered with a jovial chuckle, doing his best to sign with a takeaway coffee cup in one hand. Roger turned to him a little more, his brows slightly furrowed; but his expression positive nonetheless - likely due to the smile ever-present on his husband’s face. 

_What?_ He signed, his eyes scanning over the man, as if his mind was focused on far more than idle chit-chat. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen that much muscle on you.” John chuckled, his head gesturing towards the set, towards where Ben was standing in between takes in one of Roger’s more exposing outfits. “And you wish you were that tall.” He added, giving Roger a playful nudge. Roger returned with a slight slap on the arm, rolling his eyes with a wide smile on his face. “I’m surprised you didn’t want a deaf actor.” John continued, now looking more thoughtfully towards the younger men on set. “I’m actually more surprised that Brian didn’t demand it…” John added with a soft chuckle. 

_The director had a hand in getting him the job…_ Roger signed. _But, I think he’s great._ He continued, smiling widely. 

“You think he’s great because now all the teenage girls are going to know you as the hunk of Queen… and I’m sorry, baby; but, you were anything but!” John chuckled loudly, his hands signing flamboyantly, almost as if it were out of character for the older man nowadays. 

_Okay; and you were? Who says I’m not hunky?_ Roger signed; his eyes wide, but with no genuine hurt behind them. 

“You might be hunky now!” John chuckled, elbowing Roger’s belly playfully, receiving a playful eye roll from his husband. “But, I believe you were… twinky?” John smirked, giving Roger a wink. 

_That’s a candy._ Roger stated, matter-of-factly. John groaned softly and rolled his eyes with a wide smile on his face. _Besides… you can’t possibly call me a twink and not have considered yourself one._ Roger added; John was about to open his mouth when Lilly came bounding over. 

“What’s going on?” She grinned, signing lavishly - the two older men had often discussed how the way Lilly put her everything into her signing reminded them of Freddie. 

_We’re just discussing whether your father was considered a twink in the 70s._ Roger signed, chuckling softly through his nose, knowing it was an awkward topic of conversation. Lilly’s eyes widened and she shook her head, waving her hands a little. 

“I hate it.” She replied quickly, signing frantically. John and Roger both chuckled, as she made a point of dramatically walking backwards in and attempt to get away from them. Once she had moved far enough away to get distracted by the conversation she overheard Joe and Gwilym having, John made a point of shuffling closer to Roger, so their sides were touching. Placing his empty coffee cup on the bench, he leant over a little and placed his head on Roger’s shoulder, as the older man wrapped his arm tightly around his husband. Roger looked up at John and smiled widely, mouthing a quick ‘I love you’ before John connected their lips swiftly. They remained as such for a moment, before Roger pulled away slightly - enough to lift his hands and sign. 

_That was very forward of you, Mr Deacon._ Roger signed, a smitten smirk on his face. 

“That’s Mr Deacon-Taylor, thank you very much. Been that way for a while now - are you going senile, old man?” John teased, quickly pecking Roger’s lips before pulling away completely. 

_Sorry… I sometimes forget I’m dating a literal child._ Roger smirked. John rolled his eyes with a chuckle before Roger stood up. _I’m going to workshop some stuff with Ben; I’ll come straight back though._ Roger signed, his face caring and assured. John nodded a little, still not completely at ease with being somewhere so incredibly public - especially if Roger wasn’t right beside him. He watched as his husband moved away to the set, and remained motionless as he waited. 

“How do you guys do it?” The voice wasn’t too far off, but the lack of bodies in front of him had John turning slightly to be met with Rami, standing not a foot from the bench they sat on. John gave him a slightly queried look before the younger man moved slightly closer and spoke up again. “How do you guys still seem so in love after like 50 years? It’s like you got married yesterday” He chuckled. John smiled a little and gently pat the empty space beside him, moving his coffee cup. 

“That’s easy when you’re married to someone who never stopped acting like a teenager.” He chuckled, looking over at Roger, who was sharing a laugh with the other boys. “But… we are definitely still so in love - maybe even more now we’ve got kids.” John added, his smile growing fonder as Lilly made an attempt to hug her father from behind, jumping up and thankfully not flattening to aging man. Rami’s smile simply widened, his eyes on John’s infatuated stare. 

“Was it hard?” Rami asked quietly, as if he was conscious of just who he was questioning. John turned back to him, with a slight look of confusion. 

“Was what hard?” He queried, his voice softer than usual. 

“All of it: touring for so long; retiring when Roger still wanted to play; I know you two fought a lot after Freddie...” Rami questioned, the last part almost inaudible; he knew it could come across as insensitive, but from the moment he had been given his role, he’d wanted to hear about Freddie from the person most affected by his death. John’s face dropped a little, and his eyes cast to where his hands had began to fiddle. “You don’t have to…” Rami added, now fearing he might upset John too much for it to be considered ‘research’. 

“I… I guess-” John began, stopping for a moment to find the words. “I really struggled in the end - mind you, it was never exactly my thing; I did it for long because of the others… because it always meant so much to them that we did it together.” John began quietly, unable to look Rami in the eyes. “But, it got to a point - after Freddie passed away - where I just couldn’t make myself enjoy it. Instead of being this exceptional thing I got to do for a living… all the tributes, and interviews, and benefit concerts - they became a constant reminder of a life I was never going to get back.” John mumbled, Rami looking down at him with eyes so sad he was worried he might cry. “I loved Queen; I still do - I always will. It brought me everything that means anything to me… but it also took away someone I loved dearly… and after that - regardless of how much I loved it - it just wasn’t worth it anymore.” John spoke softly, taking a few moments before looking up at Rami. “Well, that was awfully sombre… if you’ll excuse me.” John whispered, taking a short while to stand before moving towards the exit. Roger seemed to have noticed and jogged - as best as he could - to catch up with John. Once they were both outside, Roger gripped John’s shoulder to turn the younger man around. John had tears brimming in his eyes, and Roger was quick to pull him into a tight hug. It lasted a few moments before Roger pulled away to sign. 

_What happened, love?_ Roger asked, looking at his husband with intense caution. John just shook his head. 

“Oh, you know; just me being an insensitive little sissy.” John lamented, trying to walk off again, only to be grabbed swiftly by Roger. 

_What are you talking about, John? Talk to me?_ He questioned, holding the younger man in place. John sniffled quickly and stepped closer to Roger, allowing the older man to place a gentle hand on the small of his back. 

“You said to come because it was like watching all our memories played out before us - and that’s exactly what it is and I hate it.” John spat, signing angrily, to the point that Roger took a careful step back. John looked towards Roger and appeared to instantly regret getting so angry. “I’m sorry.” He mumbled, pushing a frustrated hand through what hair he did have left. Roger couldn’t help but let out a small grin. “What?” John questioned, sniffling a little. 

_I just really love you, is all._ Roger signed softly, waiting as John’s reaction calmed from downright panic to a little less unstable. _And I really love watching them remake our memories, because it reminds me that I wouldn’t change a thing._ Roger added, stepping closer to John. _I watch Joe and Ben out there pretending to be us, and I’m reminded of how lucky I have always been; to have you…_ Roger paused to give John a kiss. _To have our kids together - to be a family. To have spent the last 50 years of my life hopelessly in love with you._ Roger signed, before wrapping his arms tightly around John, who was now back at the point of tears. After a few moments, John pulled away, wiping his eyes quickly. 

“You’re a sad sap.” John muttered, signing in between wiping his face of tears. Roger chuckled a little and ran comforting hands over John’s arms. 

_You want to talk about it?_ Roger queried, only to have John shake his head quickly. _You wanna go home?_ He questioned, causing John to stop and ponder for a moment. 

“No.” He whispered, sighing meekly in front of him. “I just want to go back inside and pretend I didn’t storm out like a diva - that’s reserved for you.” John teased, a small smile spreading over his lips. Roger did the same, glad to see his husband in better spirits. He leaned forward and pecked John’s lips before slowly walking him back inside. 

Once they had made it back inside, the cast and crew had broken for lunch, and John and Roger were able to quietly slip back into the conversation without too much questioning from everyone.They were all sitting amidst everyone’s trailers, eating what craft services had provided, as casual conversation littered the table. It was after a short while that Rami - sitting beside John - leaned over. 

“I’m really sorry about that.” He whispered, clearly privy enough to John’s wishes to keep things private that he ensured no one else could hear. John quickly shook his head, placing a tentative hand on Rami’s arm. 

“It’s fine - really.” He muttered, shooting the young man a small smile. Rami gave him a polite nod, before John squeezed his arm gently, wanting to comfort the younger man and let him know that he was in no way at fault - he knew if he were in that position as a young man, he would have been mortified and he didn’t want Rami to blame himself. Once the pair pulled apart, John glanced over to see Lilly standing by the table signing inaudibly to Roger. 

_It’s just to the movies - and he’s really nice. Can I please go? He can drive and he’ll bring me home by eleven._

“Absolutely not.” John butted in, seemingly out of nowhere. Everyone turned to look at him, Roger a second after Lilly had turned to him with a small sigh. “Are you forgetting that I can understand you? Don’t think you’re being all sneaky by secretly asking your father because you know he’ll just say yes.” John said sternly, but with a small smirk on his lips. Roger grinned slightly at him, moving his hand to his husband’s leg, running it over aimlessly. Not that John would realise, but Roger simply was proud that John had said so much as two words in front of the entire group, thinking he would wish to remain largely unseen. 

“Please! Dad?” Lilly pleaded, turning to Roger. 

“No.” John chuckled, placing a lazy hand in front of Roger’s face, the older man just chuckling, slightly confused. “You know dad doesn’t get to make any decisions.” John said softly, causing a few of the other men around the table to chuckle. Lilly groaned loudly, looking towards Brian with desperate eyes. 

“Convince him, Uncle Bri - please!” She begged, none of them noticing the way the younger men were fondly watching their very familial exchange. 

“Absolutely not - I am staying out of this. My days of fighting with your father are well and truly over.” He chuckled, gently patting her arm. 

“You can go…”John said softly, Lilly looking at him hopefully. “Only if you take your brother’s with you.” John smirked, before Lilly groaned dramatically, storming away from their table. 

“She’s like a tinier, angrier Roger.” Joe said softly, a small smile on her face. 

“Please - she’s got nothing on Roger, yet. When she throws a TV out the window, I’ll let you know.” John chuckled, causing Joe to smile at him like he’d hung the stars just by talking to the younger man. 

_That was like one time!_ Roger signed, a disgruntled look on his face. 

“Four.” John and Brian replied in unison, causing Roger to sink into his seat a little. The younger men around the table laughed in response to the older men, watching them with clear admiration. Their conversation continued from there, John now far more prepared to be included, even making a point of chiming in occasionally. 

After, Gwilym and Rami had gone back to their trailers, while Ben and Joe were on set to film a scene between Roger and John. John sat beside Roger on one of the chairs, watching as the pair got ready for the scene. Both men were shirtless in a large bed that was not unlike the one John and Roger currently possessed, and John made a point of gesturing to Ben as he leaned over to Roger. 

“See? You never looked like that.” He smirked, signing playfully in front of his husband. Roger rolled his eyes and gently nudged John with a smile before placing his hand rather high on the inside of John’s thigh. “Watch it, mister.” John whispered against Roger’s neck, knowing he wouldn’t know exactly what he was saying - but seeing him shiver was enough to make John chuckle. The scene before them was one of the few in the film that was central to John and Roger’s relationship. It was a scene right after Queen went their separate ways and Roger ad John are lying in bed discussing the prospect of starting a family. Whilst the scene in respect to the actual timeline of their lives wasn’t exactly accurate - nor was the entire movie - it was certainly a conversation John could recall having. 

He watched as Ben leant over, connecting his lips to Joe’s neck, causing the “younger” man to looker over. 

_Maybe now is a good time to start thinking about a family._ Ben signed, all eyes off camera diverting to the interpreter to ensure Ben had mimicked the signing well enough. John could see the way Roger was nodding - which, in turn had John wondering why they hadn’t just gotten Roger to confirm, considering he’d mentioned to John how he and Brian had initially worked with all of the men on their signing. Once it had been confirmed correct, the attention was placed back on the actors, where Joe rolled over to be face-to-face with Ben. John wanted to say that he didn’t roll his eyes nearly as much as Joe, or that the looks he gave pseudo-Roger were inaccurate, but John couldn’t deny how much work Joe had obviously put into his roll - it honestly warmed his heart a little.

“I don’t know.” Joe said softly, signing as he spoke. John had to commend Joe, really; not only did he have to sign everything he spoke, but he also had to speak in a completely different accent. “Do you really think Freddie’s just going to… give up on us?” He mumbled, a sad look on his face. Ben smiled softly. 

_No._ He said assuredly. _I’m certain he’ll be back. You know Freddie - likes to disappear and sort himself in the most lavish of ways._ Ben signed, letting out one of Roger’s breathy, huffed laughs. 

“Well, then what are we gonna do if we start a family and Freddie comes back and decides he wants to go back on tour. Bring them?” Joe chuckled, reaching a hand up to push a few of the strands from Ben’s wig back. 

_Sure._ Ben answered, seriousness is his face as he signed. 

“Roger, no.” Joe whispered, receiving a pout from Ben. It was one John was wildly familiar with, having seen Roger use it many times in the last 50 years to get his way. Joe sighed softly as he leant forward and pressed a kiss to Ben’s lips. At the same time, John glanced over at Roger, leaning up a little to press a kiss to his own husband’s lips. Roger smiled into the kiss, turning to John and wrapping his arms tightly around his husband. The pair pulled apart, seeing Joe and Ben do the same in the scene. John glanced back to the scene as Joe pecked Ben’s lips. “Let’s talk about this later; goodnight - I love you.” He signed before rolling over. 

“Cut!” The voice boomed, a bell ringing as the scene before them crumbling as the actors came back into reality. “Reset.” The boys both stood up as makeup came onto set to touch up where they needed. John watched as Joe glanced over to where he and Roger were sitting. 

“Was it okay… John?” He questioned, clearly caring more about John’s opinion than anything. John smiled weakly and nodded. 

“It was great, Joe; you’re clearly very well researched.” John said softly, grinning at the younger man, who just about lit up. 

“T-thank you.” He grinned. “Any pointers?” Joe added, taking a few steps closer to John, who looked up at the young man from where his thigh was still being gripped tightly by Roger. 

“Umm, I don’t believe so. But, I’m not really the one to ask… I’m not too well-versed with all this acting business.” John chuckled, Joe chuckling with him. 

“Yeah, but it’s you - I’m you. Any pointers on being you?” Joe questioned, smiling widely as he looked at John expectantly. John chuckled a little, looking at the young man nervously. 

“I’m so sorry - I really wish I knew what to tell you.” John grinned. “But, if you have any questions…” He trailed off, shrugging a little as he laughed awkwardly. 

“Well…” Joe began. “Ben and I were actually wondering if maybe… we could… like observe you guys?” Joe asked, looking downwards a little awkwardly. “It’s just… it’s been hard to get the dynamic right only having Roger’s side of it all. We’d love to watch you guys actually interact; you know, away from the cameras and interviews - Roger said they were pretty inaccurate. We want to be able to see what you’re like as an actual couple - as fathers, too.” Joe explained, clearly very nervous to ask so much of John. John bit his lip and glanced over at Roger, who was busy speaking with Ben and hadn’t been paying a moment of attention, and John was suddenly unsure what to do. He glanced between Ben and Joe, toying with his lip nervously. 

“How about…” John began. “Maybe you two could pop over for family dinner tonight?” John queried, unsure whether what he was doing was a good idea. Joe’s eyes lit up and he smiled widely. 

“Are you serious? We’d… I’d love that.” Joe said excitedly, just as the director demanded them back on set. John let out a hefty sigh as they walked away, Roger turned to him with an inquisitive look. 

“I think… I think we’re going to have some dinner guests.” John whispered, signing with a look of disbelief.


End file.
